


Anything You Can Do

by cinemastories



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Bottom Jim, Dirty Talk, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Probably ooc, andy just wants to be a winner, pam nd jim have an open relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 09:19:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14974079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinemastories/pseuds/cinemastories
Summary: After Jim beats him at arm wrestling, Andy struggles to find something he can outdo Jim at. That is, until he does.





	Anything You Can Do

**Author's Note:**

> idk i wanted it so i did it.

Stanley managed to outdo himself. Michael had to make an unexpected trip to New York in the morning, leaving Jim in charge in his absence (only after Dwight asked for the position).

“Jim, this is your ship,” he declared, placing a firm hand on his shoulder as he gestured to the rest of the office with the other, “Look around you. What do you see?”

Jim pressed his lips together, swiveling in his chair to scan them from left to right, “Well, let’s see here…”

Michael interjected before he could make his observation, “You see your crew, Jim. Your sea-men, and they’re all over the place.”

Most everyone groaned, except Kevin, who let out a bark of a laugh. 

“Come _on_ Michael,” complained Angela, wiping her hands on her skirt almost to rid herself of the disgusting comment.

“I’m sorry Angela. Sea-women too,” he clarified.

He clapped Jim’s shoulder and strode over to the coat rack with his things, “Alright goodbye everyone, I’ll see you Monday morning.”

A couple of people muttered their salutations. 

“Bye Michael,” Pam said, waving at him as he left.

There were about 5 minutes of quiet, save for the usual sounds of the office’s operations. It was comfortable; they liked days like this. However, it didn’t usually last long until the issue of taking off early came up. Stanley was the one to bring it up this time.

“So, Jim, wh-” he began, using an uncharacteristic saccharine and interested tone. 

Jim didn’t look up from his computer, “Get 25 new customers by 1:00 and we all go home by 3:00.”

Stanley grinned and immediately got dialing, motivated exceptionally by the prospect of being back home 2 hours earlier than usual. Jim winked at Pam and gave her a lopsided grin. She smiled back as she took down the message of the day for Michael. What Stanley didn’t know was that Pam had already taken the last part of the day off in order to catch a train. She was visiting her sister in Ohio for a few weekends in order to help her with her divorce. Jim wanted to see her off at the station. 

By noon, Stanley had landed double his goal. At 3 o'clock sharp, Stanley was the first one out the door, hastily wishing everyone a good weekend. The rest milled out at their own pace. Jim leaned on Pam’s desk, waiting as she finished faxing a document and grabbing her things. He said goodbye to Phyllis and Angela, who stayed behind a few moments to discuss party planning (or, more accurately, Angela filling Phyllis in on her party plans for the next two months and giving Phyllis a to-do list). 

“You ready?” Jim asked as Pam grabbed her purse.

She nodded, “Yeah. I think we might have time to grab a coffee before I head out for the weekend.”

Jim put her jacket on her, kissing her cheek, “Sounds good.”

As they began to leave, Andy crossed in front of them, stopping them as he sported his usual toothy grin.

“Tuna! What are you doing tonight, my man? Wanna go have a couple brewskys?” he inquired.

Jim began to formulate a response as to why he couldn’t, but Pam answered for him, “Oh he’d love too! I’m leaving for the weekend starting today and I think he’d like some company.”

Jim’s eyes narrowed.

“Awesome! Meet you at Poor Richard’s at 7:00,” he practically cheered as he left.

Once he was gone, Jim sighed and gave Pam an exhausted look as they made their way to the elevator. She flashed him a shit-eating grin. 

“Whaaat?” she said, feigning innocence, “You need friends, Jim!”

The stepped into the elevator and rode it down to the lobby. 

“I know your game, Beesley. You just want me to have to suffer through his drunken monologue so I can relay it to you later,” he said, smirking down at her. 

She gasped dramatically, “James Halpert! What do you take me for? A deviant?”

The elevator doors chimed open and he poked her sides, making her laugh and run from his playful taunting, “That’s precisely what you are Beesley. Bad to the bone!”

He chased her to and around the car until they called a truce so they could get in and go. He kissed her before they pulled out. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” she murmured into his lips.

—

Jim showed up at Poor Richard’s a little after 7:00, and at the bar was Andy. Jim took the stool next to him, patting his back and greeting him as he walked up.

“Oh hey Tune! I got you a beer,” he said, siding the glass mug over to him, “I’ve been here for a little bit already. Watchin’ the game.”

Jim rose the beer to him in thanks and drank some of it. “You watch sports?” he asked, surprised.

Andy gestured at the screen in front of him with his beer, making the coolest face he could muster, “Yup, I’m way into figure skating.”

Jim looked up to indeed see competitive figure skating. That wasn’t exactly surprising. He finished his beer quickly, already sending a sincere need for an alcoholic aide in this interaction. Not wanting to seem like he didn’t have it in him, Andy kept up with him. After a few beers, a couple shots of rum, Jim propped his elbow up on the counter and hand his hand out to Andy. Andy inspected this gesture, but couldn’t make sense of it in his tipsy fog.

“What’re you doin’, Tuna Melt?” he asked.

Jim smiled coolly at him, “Let’s arm wrestle!”

Andy scoffed, “No way, I’d totally crush you.” He took a swig if his beer.

“Prove it,” dared Jim.

Andy set his drink down and looked at Jim. Once it had proved that he wasn’t going to let up, he shrugged and clasped his hand around Jim’s. Jim squared up, looking serious as he counted down from 3. It made Andy’s stomach turn in a way he didn’t want to think about too hard. He contorted his face and grunted as he put all of his weight against Jim’s arm. Jim hardly budged and shoved his arm against the counter with ease. Andy sighed-laughed with frustration.

“You uh, you got me when I wasn’t ready,” he informed Jim.

“Best two of three?”

Best two of three turned into best four of five, which turned into best seven of eight, which just served to piss the bartender off for hitting her counter over and over again. 

“Dammit! How did you get so good at arm wrestling? I was the best arm wrestler at Cornell!” he exclaimed, cheeks flushed from the frustration and alcohol. 

Jim shrugged, smiling into the rim of his drink, “I guess I’ve always been decent at it.”

Andy narrowed his eyes at him, almost trying to punk him, “I could beat you at lots of stuff.”

Jim chuckled, “Oh really? Do tell.”

He grinned smugly, “Singing contest right now. Let’s go.”

Jim shook his head, “No, no, no. It doesn’t work like that.”

Andy rolled his eyes, “How?”

“You can’t prove that you’re better than me at something you’re _already_ good at! You have to pick something I already have skill at in order to make it fair.”

Andy contemplated the parameters and stared at him. 

“Okay,” they clicked their glasses together and Andy stared at him as he drank, “I’m going to defeat you yet, Halpert.”

—

During the next week, Andy started with the obvious: pranks. He attempted everything he saw on TV, like buckets of water on doorways and spring-loaded pie that launched from the contact on a string at ankle level. Jim avoided these easily and left them for someone else to stumble into. Andy decided to kick it up a notch and attempted to do pranks that were just inconveniences, like plastering his car with post-it’s, super-gluing his phone to the receiver, and loosening the screws on his chair. Unfortunately for Andy, Jim was well-stocked with replacements and supplanted the supplies before they afflicted him. As for the car, Andy was under the impression that Jim drove a silver Corolla and not a blue Saturn, a mix-up that did well to piss Angela off for days. As a last-ditch effort, Andy replicated some of Jim’s greatest hits, like stapler jello and wrapping paper desk. But Jim saw through these even faster than the others and found it rather flattering, in fact.

The week after that, Andy decided to try beating Jim at his daily sales reports (something he could only hope to match on a good day). As he attempted this futile task, Jim and Pam chatted in the break room over a bundle of grapes.

“Andy is trying really hard to beat you at something, huh?”

Jim snickered and popped a grape into his mouth, “Yeah, pretty funny right?”

Pam smiled as she watched Andy practically sweating into the phone, “I think he might have a little crush on you.”

Jim laughed at that joke. 

“I’m not kidding!”

He still wasn’t sold. He glanced back at him, paying more attention to the way he looked than he was accustomed to. Andy was kind of cute in a nerdy prep sort of way; not the type that would usually catch his eye unless he looked for something to like. He liked his eyes and his flustered, trying-not-to-freak-out smile. 

“Whatever,” he shrugged, looking back to Pam.

Pam touched his hand, “All I’m saying, is that we agreed to do what we want while we’re still young and sexy.” She smiled as he laughed, “Do what you want… or _who_.”

“ _Beesley!_ ”

—

The week ended, and Andy hadn’t made any headway in his pursuit of beating Jim. He decided to broaden a couple of definitions when it came to his quest and set out on his last plan. 

Jim saw Pam off for one last time at the train station and made his way back to his place, eager to take his pants off and watch some basketball. His dreams were dashed, though, when he pulled into his driveway to see Andy sitting on his porch step. He sighed as he parked the car and grabbed his coat before getting out and locking up. He nodded at Andy as he approached his front door. 

“What’s up, man?” he asked as Andy stood.

Andy put his hands into the pockets of his red pants, “Not much, Tune-up. Can uh, can we talk?”

Jim nodded, wondering if something was up. He unlocked the door and let Andy in. He urged him to make himself at home and set his things down his his kitchen. He went to the fridge. 

“Want a beer?” he asked.

“Sure,” Andy called back.

Jim grabbed two bottles and popped their tops. He walked it back to Andy in the living room and sat across from him on his chair.

“What’s on your mind?”

Andy took a long swig, letting out a sigh as he swallowed. Jim took a polite drink, but was more concerned with what he had to say than his beer. Andy stood up and strode lazily over to Jim’s movie collection. 

“For these past couple weeks, I’ve tried my damndest to beat you at your own game. In fact, after this week, I almost lost hope in being able to best you,” he took a drink, looking at the back of Se7en, “And then I overheard a conversation between Kelly, Angela, and Phyllis. You see, Kelly was telling them about just how jealous she was that you and Pam were trying nonmonogamy. I mean, I didn't know what that meant but I did after I googled it.”

Jim was suddenly less pleasantly curious and now irritated, “And? You know me and Pam have nothing to hide and I don’t know what your-“

“So with that information, I put all the dots together to figure out something else you’re good at,” he said, replacing the DVD and walking over to step in front of his chair, “You see, you’re a real charmer Jim. Just about everyone likes you a whole lot.”

Jim smirked at him, “And do you expect to out-charm me somehow, Andy?”

Andy shook his head and took another swig, “No, I‘m  
gonna break you.”

Quiet lingered for a moment before Jim exploded into howling laughter, slapping his knee. Once he calmed down and wiped his eyes, Jim looked up to see Andy still standing there, a patient smile on his lips and a determined look in his eye. Now _this_ was unexpected. Andy Bernard never displayed his level of confidence, especially not for so long. Perhaps his competitive nature overrode his awkward dispositions in order to help him score a win over these last two weeks. 

“Can you stand up for me, Jim?” he asked.

Jim rolled his eyes and decided to give him this one request. Andy took a step forward, their chests a few inches from touching. He looked up at Jim, narrowing his eyes and smiling deviously.

“I realized that, for you, winning isn’t just ‘winning’, it’s a dominance play. You like to assert your dominance all over Dwight with your little games, and you tried to assert it over me for the past two weeks,” he took another confident step forward, “I know your game, playa’, and I’m gonna win it.”

Jim tried his absolute hardest not to crack his cold facade by laughing at that last part. Instead, he rose an eyebrow at him. 

“It sounds like you’re projecting, Andy.”

Andy faltered, his eyebrows worrying and his eyes involuntarily searching Jim’s, “N-What?”

Jim let himself smirk at that defeated look, “You think that winning is an act of domination because winners make you feel dominated. Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.”

Andy furrowed his brows and frowned at him. 

“Okay, my bad for interrupting your thing. Go on,” he bent his knees and condescendingly put himself at Andy’s level, “But if you wanna win, then you’re gonna have to play.”

A familiar feeling crept over Andy as he looked into Jim’s bored, and yet challenging eyes. He guessed it was the same feeling that animals get when they’re getting attacked in the wild. Fight or flight, he remembered. His mind screamed at him to walk out of there and act like nothing ever happened, but something primal took over him and somehow he ended up pushing Jim against the wall by the collar of his shirt and kissed him good and hard. Jim let out a surprised gasp, hardly having time to react as Andy wedged his knee between Jim’s legs and pressed his body closer. Jim chuckled and laced his fingers into Andy’s hair as he broke away from his mouth to kiss down his jaw. He decided he would let Andy have a little more fun kissing his neck and grinding on his thigh, like a puppy might, before giving Andy’s hair a sharp tug and detaching him from his neck.

“Andy,” he laughed breathily, “I admire your drive but you’re-”

Andy interrupted him by reaching up and touching his cheek, staring up at him deliriously like Jim was the sun or something, “What are your limits?”

Jim rose an eyebrow and loosened his grip on Andy’s hair, “Excuse me?”

Andy leaned forward and moved his hands up Jim’s shirt, teasing his nipple with his right hand as he nipped his neck in the spot just below his jaw. Jim leaned slack against the wall, swallowing a groan.

“And are you okay with this?” he asked, returning to look into Jim’s lidded eyes, “I just wanna make it good for you.”

Jim was absolutely floored. Where was this coming from? What confident, sexy _Ghostbusters_ -esque demon had possessed Andrew Bernard in the last 12 hours? And he was so caring too, not nearly as awkward or bumbling as he expected him to- oh god he realized what Andy was doing. These were exactly Jim’s moves! He was keeping it hot but informed. Exciting but intimate. He was playing- no, _winning_ hardball. 

“Let’s go to my room,” Jim said quickly. 

Andy followed him quietly, shutting the door behind them. Jim began to kick off his shoes and undo his tie in a frenzy. Andy got the hint and did the same.

“If I don’t like something I’ll let you know, okay?” Jim said, hastily undoing his shirt and tearing off the undershirt beneath it. 

Andy undid the last button on his shirt and reached out to grab Jim’s hips and pull him forward to wrap his arms around his waist as he lapped and sucked at one of his nipples. Jim sighed and ran his fingers through Andy’s hair, letting himself be pushed back into laying on the bed. Andy nipped and kissed various spots of his torso, making his way down to the hem of Jim’s pants. Jim propped himself up on his elbows, watching as Andy slowly undid his belt, button, and fly and pulled the pants off of him. He knelt in front of Jim absentmindedly stroked him a couple of times through his boxers, looking up at him.

“Want me to suck you off, Halpert?” he asked.

Jim snorted at the question and rolled his eyes, “Well, Andy, it’s not like I want you to keep talking.”

Andy moved his hand off of him, placing both hands on the inside of his thighs and making him spread a little more. Hiding his irritated look, he moved between his legs and dipped his head down to press his lips to the inside of Jim’s right knee and move slowly inward until his mouth was hovering over his crotch. He darted his pale blue eyes back up at Jim and the sight of him shirtless, lips parted and cheeks flushed as he stared intensely down at him was almost too much to bear, so he decided to save the teasing for later. Andy yanked Jim’s boxers off, pushed down his insecurity about his rusty fallacio skills, and licked a long strip up the underside of his cock, stopping to trace swirls over the frenulum (a useful trick he learned at Cornell). Jim shuttered as Andy took him into his mouth, bobbing slowly and deliberately while he flicked his tongue over the tip.

“Oooh shit, Andy,” he sighed, leaning his head back.

Andy smirked to himself and kept working, taking Jim as far as he could and stroking where he couldn’t reach. He dipped his head down lower and lapped at his balls, gently taking them into his mouth one at a time to suck. He watched as Jim’s stomach muscles tighten and listened to him as he groaned and let out soft praises. Andy moved back up to kiss Jim ravenously, which Jim returned gratefully. He pushed off Andy’s dress shirt and pulled on his undershirt.

“Andy, c’mon you’re not even naked,” he giggled into his lips. 

Andy laughed too and let Jim take his shirt off of him, pressing his lips together as Jim looked up at him kissed his chest. Andy placed his hands on either sides of Jim’s face and leaned down to kiss him tenderly. 

“Turn around. Lay on your stomach,” he murmured.

Jim’s stomach turned with excitement and he did as he told. Andy pressed kisses down his spine and nipped playfully at the dimples on his lower back. He grabbed both of his cheeks and parted them, spitting once for good measure and diving in. Jim let out a low moan, sitting up on his forearms and pushed his hips back into his tongue. Andy pushed one finger in and out of him, lapping at him and slowly working him up to taking more. He worked him with two of his left fingers and moved back up to kiss the back of Jim’s neck.

“D’you like that?” he whispered, tracing the shell of Jim’s ear with his tongue.

“Yeah- _oh_ god!” he gasped.

Andy eventually worked in a third finger, curling them as he did so. Jim buried his face into the mattress, sighing and moaning until Andy suddenly retracted his fingers. Jim turned on his back to ask him what was wrong when he saw him undoing his belt. Jim scooted to the edge of the bed and reached out, grabbing Andy by the hem of his pants and pulling him slowly forward as he smiled down at him. He undid his belt and pushed Andy’s pants and briefs down to the middle of his thighs. Jim spared no time wrapping his fingers around Andy’s cock and taking the head into his mouth. Andy sighed through his teeth and put his hands on his hips, watching Jim work. Soon, Jim popped off and smiled up at Andy, grabbing his face and pulling him down and between his legs. Andy kicked off his pants and moved his tongue with Jim’s as he grabbed his arms and pinned them above his head. Jim wrapped his legs around Andy’s waist and pulled him closer. Andy leaned back from the kiss and rose and eyebrow at him, smiling. 

“What do you want me to do, Tuna?” he asked sweetly, wiggling his hips for good measure.

Jim rolled his eyes and laughed, “Don’t call me Tuna in bed, it’s not sexy.”

Andy ducked down and kissed the hollow of his neck, now grinding his hips into him, “Tell me what you want.”

Jim instinctively wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer. “Ah- c’mon Andy,” he groaned, straining with his right arm to reach his bedside table for lube and condoms.

He leaned back again, giving Jim a devious smirk, “Nuh-uh. You gonna ask for it.”

Now Jim stopped smiling. He gave him his signature deadpan look, and Andy nodded to show he wasn’t kidding. Jim sighed and looked away from him, muttering something intelligible.

“What was that?” Andy asked, cupping his ear teasingly.

He sighed again, “I want you to fuck me.”

“Well all you had to do was ask,” he said, making himself laugh as Jim reached for the lube and condoms again. 

Andy saturated his fingers and slicked up his newly-wrapped dick, wiping the excess on Jim ass. He lined himself up and very slowly pushed himself about a fifth of the way into him. Jim gritted his teeth and took a couple seconds to adjust as Andy moved into him bit by bit until he was completely inside of Jim, the two of them moaning as he filled him. Andy waiting again for Jim to tell him it was okay, and he rolled his hips once into him, earning a whimper. As he moved slowly and steadily, he moved the hair out of Jim’s face and ran a thumb across his plump, wet lips. He decided to test the waters a bit and placed the pad of his pointer finger onto Jim’s lips. Jim smirked and took the finger into his mouth, sucking as Andy gained a little bit of speed. Andy gave him three hard thrusts before continuing his steady speed. Jim moaned for him, allowing Andy to add a second finger into his mouth. 

“You like it, don’t you? Like gettin’ fucked and sucking on my fingers like a little slut?”

Oh. That was a new one for both of them. Jim didn’t expect his emphatic nodding as much as Andy didn’t expect that phrase to come out of his mouth. 

“Turn over,” Andy said as he pulled out of him. 

Jim quickly moved onto his fours, biting his lip and grinning as Andy grabbed his hips and slid himself inside slowly. Soon enough, Andy was snapping his hips into Jim, earning breathy moans from him. He leaned over him and grabbed his cock, jerking him off with each thrust. Jim moaned hard and collapsed down onto the bed, and Andy stopped thrusting. Jim grunted with frustration and moved back on his cock until he gained a sufficient enough rhythm to fuck himself on Andy’s cock.

“Yeah, look at you,” sighed Andy, slapping his ass and grabbing a firm handful of it, “Can’t get enough, huh?”

Jim just moaned. Andy let him go after it for a little while longer until he laid Jim on his back, grabbing one of his long legs and throwing it over his shoulder as he grabbed his hips and thrusted into him. Jim tossed his head and jerked himself off, clutching the sheets with his spare hand. Andy grabbed Jim’s other leg and put it over his other shoulder, leaning over so that Jim’s knees were almost by his ears. He pounded him deeply and deliberately, trying to hit his prostate with every thrust. Jim let out hoarse moans and held both sides of Andy’s face, looking into his eyes.

Andy smiled his same, dopey smile at him. “Jeez Jim,” he panted, “You’re so fucking pretty.”

With that, Jim came hard across his stomach, eyes screwed shut and his toes curling as he pulled Andy deep into him with his legs. Andy leaned down and kissed his forehead a few moments later before pulling out, standing up, and taking off his condom. He took Jim by the chin as he jerked himself, guiding him to kneel in front of him and stick his tongue out. Soon, he came across the bridge of his nose and on his tongue. Andy stood there panting for a moment and admiring his work, watching as Jim swallowed what was in his mouth. Andy grabbed him a couple to tissues for his face, which Jim thanked him for as he got up and sat on the bed. Andy sat next to him and rested his head on Jim’s shoulder. 

“Tuna?”

Jim smirked, “Yeah?”

“I win.”


End file.
